Lately I've benefited from reading the stories of others who have come out of fundamentalism and/or spiritually abusive churches. Even though their stories differ from mine, so many of the struggles, questions, and learning experiences are the same. One of the most glaring differences for me though, is that most of these stories are written by those who still hold to at least some version of their faith, while I no longer do.
As someone who still has a rather unhealthy obsession with making sure others like me and approve of me, (once a church girl always a church girl) it's been tough to live in a world where most of those who are up front about not believing in god often openly mock anyone dumb enough to get caught up in any kind of religion--let alone fundamentalism--while those who do understand why and how a person could get caught up in it tend to be a little suspicious of someone who no longer believes. I kind of make their side look bad when they're trying to convince the fundies in their life that believing in evolution or gay marriage or no hell isn't necessarily a slippery slope that will push them right off the Jesus train, because for me it kind of was.
In any case, I've tried to find someone with a story like mine and have yet to succeed, this is an attempt to write my own story. It is my attempt to make sense of where I've been and where I'm
going. I don't know if anyone will ever read it. I almost hope that no
one does--much of my journey is less than flattering--but if you do stumble across this page, welcome and I'd love to hear from you.